| | Cause I'm on my way to see HIM. Yes, him. I know the song goes I'm on my way to see her, but that's not how I see God being with a gender. I don't really see the big deal in what color, sex, or anything else relating to what God is, but God is an omnipotent being that doesn't have any of that. Since it is a deal with some people and I'm expressing my points of view on God... I would see him as a he. Why? Because I'm going on the whole Mother Earth aspect of it and, besides the whole science that we have now where artificial ensemination is possible, you need a Mother and a Father to give birth to a child. We are the children of God and Earth. Earth provides us with everything we need to be alive: food, oxygen, a place to live - like a Mother's womb. God provides us with rules, guidance and disciplines us when we got out of hand like a Father would. I put get in past tense because this is where it leads me into my next point of view on the subject of God... Where did he go? In the Bible, God was around doing random things like starting floods and being Wrathful because of our lost ways. He spoke to people, which now a days... when someone says God spoke to them, the majority would consider the person to be insane. What if God really is talking to them, even if they go on a killing spree and claimed that God commanded them to do so... why is that so odd of God to ask someone to do that when in the Bible, God had to prove to Satan that the people would still believe and worship him even when he does horrible things to a man's family. What if, at that moment, it was another one of God's ego trip to prove he still reigns supreme over Satan to have that person kill everyone he can? Of course, it would go against the Commandments of Thou shall not killth another person... so, who knows. Speaking of not killing... do people who serve in wars and the police officers who are forced to take someone down by lethal means go to Heaven or Hell? We would love to believe that they go to Heaven because they were serving the greater good, but in the end they performed one of the greatest sins in taking another person's life. I know its a situation of 'It's either you or me that's going to die.' Self peservation, but you are still taking another person's life. I appreciate all the work of the men and women in the line of fire everyday and really do wish the best for them each day they are in that line of fire. I just hope that if there is a Heaven or Hell, they won't be judged harshly by their actions of taking another person's life, but by the actions before that and after that with all the great things they performed over that black spot in their life. At this time, there's something I gotta point out before we continue... I don't know if I believe in God or not. It's tough to believe in him when you don't exactly know if he's there or not for you. I know he doesn't serve us, we serve him but when all the bad things in the world happens... you have to question just a little bit. I don't care how faithful you are, there is a part of your brain that will ask -Why- when something bad happens to good people. Why do the good get punished and it seems like the bad always come out smellling like a rose. I'm not talking like when someone is snowboarding/skiing, they take a tumble, slam into a tree and break a bone of sorts. I'm talking like when an drunk driver slams into someone who doesn't drink at all, flies out of the windshield and walks away with little more then possible broken bones or a concussion, while the person who doesn't drink dies in the crash. I know it can be said that since the person is drunk, they are more limber and loose... they can just flop around and be fine but all the while the one who is sober stiffens up and that causes all kinds of harm to the human body. That's not what I'm talking about, why wouldn't God intervine in some sort of way to allow both to survive. Why wouldn't he let himself be known to let the faithless to believe? I guess an arguement can be made that God only wants the most devote believers in Heaven, but wouldn't that go against the grain of us being all of his children? Why would you want your children to spend a life time in Hell just because they didn't believe exactly how he wants? Give us something to believe in other then a blind leap of faith. Now it is true that I don't know if I truely believe or not, there are all these scientific proofs to disprove the exsistence of God. That we all evolved over time and the creation of the Universe was through the Big Bang Theory which created all these galaxies and planets. That's fine and dandy in a sense... but what happened to cause the Big Bang, what and where did all those particles from to be able to cause it all. That's the hardest thing ever to explain. If there is no God, then how did the Theory even come to be... If there is a God and I get a chance to ask him just one question, it would have to be 'How did he come into exsistence?' What was there before God himself? Is there a point in time that there's was absolutely nothing there... no time, no space, nothing at all... a void of nothing. Can you picture that? That's what I'm afraid about death, I cease to be completely. Even if you make your make on the history books... but there is a condrediction with me as well... even if I did die, why would I care if there is nothing at all, I'm dead and I wouldn't have any control over it at all... so I just gotta accept it and move on with life. It's still a scary thing to think about, even if you come to accept it. It's tough to just use a book as a reference as how God is, or was... or however. Its a book written so long ago, in a time I'm not even sure if there was paper to write on. It seems that it would be stories that could of happened and passed along from person to person until finally there was paper to write it on... by then, who knows how warped and twisted the original story has become. Also, the Bible was written in Latin then into German... from that to another and so on and so forth... you have to consider the translation from Latin to German, some words had to be changed in order to fit the German language. Now I'm not saying its true, its just an assumption because from what I learned... the English language has words that even German's don't have... that has to be kind of the same with Latin and German. Now for the most part, the only thing that's keeping me from actually not believing in God is how did we come to be via the Big Bang... what caused it and the such... but there is one more thing. I might have had a personal religious experience. When I was a young lad, in the middle school era of my life, I watched a TLC program with my mom about Angels and the impact people had when seeing them during near death experiences. It started at 10 at night and ended at 11, now this was late for me back then so I immediately went to bed. At this age I still prayed to God and before I finished my prayer, I asked God to give me a sign to show me if I had a Guardian Angel of my own. No sooner then I said Amen, my body was paralyzed from the neck down and I began to shake violently. I was completely aware of everything around me and what was happening, my body was shaking but nothing else was. Not the bed, not the night stand, nothing... So it couldn't of been an Earthquake. I began another prayer asking for it to stop because he made the point quite clearly, when I said Amen again... my body stopped shaking. It was very unsettling in a sense that I had no control over my body at all except for my head. Now I know you're probably asking yourself - Why would someone, who went through something like this, still question faith in God? And you know what... I don't know. In a way it could be scientifically or medically explained in some fashion, but still... how do you explain that the moment I said the second Amen, my body stopped shaking? I can't, and I doubt anyone else can either. I haven't prayed in a long time and I haven't really turned my back to God... it's just I'm lost right now and I'm trying to find my own way. But even if I say I don't believe in God... in the back of my head I really do because you can't just explain everything with science. |
